INSIDE THE

Big Interview Mistakes

Conducting a cleared job search can be a grueling process to find the employer that best suits your career goals, your salary…and your commute. You spend a lot of time researching opportunities, attending Cleared Job Fairs and networking.

While looking for a job does deserve deep concentration, there also comes the time when you just need to take a break and maybe enjoy a good belly laugh. You know, like watching cat videos. No funny felines here, but some interview stories that should bring a big smile to your face.

These are actual interview gaffes that have been shared by recruiters.

Why did you leave your last job?

“I have a problem with authority.”

Tell us about a problem you had with a co-worker and how you resolved it

“The resolution was we were both fired.”

What kind of computer software have you used?

“Computers? Are those the black boxes that sit on the floor next to the desks? My boss has one of those. He uses it. I don’t have one. He just gives me my schedule and I follow it.”

What are your hobbies and interests?

“[He said] ‘Well, as you can see, I’m a young, virile man and I’m single — if you ladies know what I’m saying.’ Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, ‘I particularly like blondes.'”

Why should we hire you?

“I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time.”

Do you have any questions? (These are questions from candidates.)

“If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?”

“What do you want me to do if I cannot walk to work if it’s raining? Can you pick me up?”

“Can we wrap this up fairly quickly? I have some place I have to go.”

“What is your company’s policy on Monday absences?”

“If this doesn’t work out can I call you to go out sometime?”

“How big do the bonuses really get once you make associate? I hear it’s some serious cash.”

“If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?”  

“When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?”

“Can I get a tour of the breast pumping room? I heard you have a great one here and while I don’t plan on having children for at least 10 or 12 years, I will definitely breast feed and would want to use that room.”

“So, how much do they pay you for doing these interviews?”

Why are you leaving your current job?

“Because I (expletive) my pants every time I enter the building.”

“I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes.”

Why are you looking for a job?

“Cigarettes are getting more expensive, so I need another job.”

“My parents told me I need to get a job so that is why I’m here.”

Why do you want to work for us?

“Just for the benefits.”

“My old boss didn’t like me, so one day, I just left and never came back. And here I am!”

“I saw the job posted on Twitter and thought, why not?”

What are your assets? (as in strengths)

“Well, I do own a bike.”

What are your weaknesses?

“I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won’t get mad at you.”

“I often oversleep and have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.”

“I’m really not a big learner. You know … some people love learning and are always picking up new things, but that’s just not me. I’d much rather work at a place where the job is pretty stagnant and doesn’t change a lot.”

When have you demonstrated leadership skills?

“Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming. I pretty much run the show; it takes a lot to do that.”

Is there anything else I should know about you?

“You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends.”

When can you start?

“I need to check with my mom on that one.”

Use three adjectives to describe yourself

“I hate questions like this.”

Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it

“I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.”

Have you submitted your two weeks’ notice to your current employer?

“What is two weeks’ notice? I’ve never quit a job before, I’ve always been fired.”

Random responses

“I do not have a mailing address, I’m living in a gypsy camp at the airport.”

“Wow — I’m not used to wearing dress shoes! My feet are killing me. Can I show you these bloody blisters?”

“May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night.”

(During a telephone call to schedule the interview) “Can we meet next month? I am currently incarcerated.”

We think there are lots of articles with good advice on ClearedJobs.Net. This one was meant to make you laugh…and learn. These stories are amusing and they are good examples of what not to do on an interview. Now get back to business and go find that cleared job of your dreams.

Pat Tovo guides job seekers in conducting successful employment searches through targeted prospecting, effective resume writing, and polished interviewing skills. She enjoys facilitating workshops and working one-on-one in career counseling.