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Are You Up to Date on Cleared Job Search Reference Etiquette?

Tips to obtain and effectively leverage your next professional reference.

Gone are the days when a resume was commonly expected to include a list of references. Modern job searches focus on protecting your references’ privacy and using them strategically (upon request—not right off the bat). Despite this shift, we continue to see cleared job seekers at networking hours, military base hiring events, and our own Cleared Job Fairs distribute dozens of resumes at a time with their references’ contact information included.

If you’ve fallen into this faux pas before, don’t worry, we’ll set you on the right reference etiquette path to ensure you can call upon your references in future job searches. Buckle up and get ready to learn:

• How to pick the right people for your reference wish list
• The best way to ask someone to be your reference
• How to prepare your references to help them help you
• When to share your references to ensure good reference etiquette
• The importance of saying thank you

How to Pick the Right References

Choosing the right references is the first step to ensure you present yourself in the best light. Here are a few guidelines to help you select effective references:

Relevant Professional Relationships

While your biggest fan might be a loved one, your references need to be professional—sorry mom. Instead, select references who are familiar with your work and can speak to your professional abilities. These could be former supervisors, colleagues, or even clients. Ideally, choose individuals who have seen you perform tasks similar to those required in the job you’re applying for. Ask yourself, who can best speak to your abilities and accomplishments to help convey you’re a good fit for the role. Include people who can vouch for different aspects of your skillset, such as technical skills, leadership abilities, and interpersonal skills.

Recent Contacts

We typically develop our expertise and skill sets as our careers move forward, so try to select individuals you’ve worked with recently. A reference from someone you’ve worked with in the last few years will carry more weight than one from a decade ago. While it’s usually best to have recent references, there may be an exception if a particular position you held in your past is especially relevant to the job you’re currently applying for. Or perhaps your contact works at the company or knows the recruiter/hiring manager personally. That would be another exception to the rule of opting for recent contacts, as the power of referrals trumps recency.

Add Some Extras to Your Wish List

When making a list of your top reference picks, consider adding backups. Many professionals have busy schedules and could potentially be traveling or unreachable when the reference process begins. So set yourself up for success by being proactive.

How to Ask Someone to Be Your Reference

Once you’ve identified potential references, the next step is to ask them. And please, whatever you do, do NOT skip this step. The biggest mistake you can make with references is failing to inform them in advance. And believe it or not, it does happen, and it’s never a good look for the job seeker.

The last thing you want is for a recruiter to reach out to an unprepared contact, or worse, someone who can’t recall who you are. This leaves a less-than-favorable impression, which is the opposite of what you want from your references. So to make sure you get permission before handing out people’s contact information, here are some tips to make the ask:

Ask Politely and Personally

The approach you use to ask someone to be a reference should match the nature of your relationship with them. For close contacts, a personal request during a coffee meetup or phone call may be appropriate. For others, an email might be more suitable. Regardless of the method, reach out personally and explain why you need their endorsement, including details about the job you’re applying for. And be sure to ask if they feel comfortable providing a strong, positive reference.

Provide Context

Help your references understand why you chose them. Highlight specific projects or achievements you worked on together, and explain how their reference will be valuable. This context will help them prepare a more personalized and impactful reference.

Be Respectful

Express your appreciation when asking someone to be a reference, as you’re asking them to do you a favor. Make it clear that you value their time and will only share their name once needed. Remember, you’re asking for consent, not just informing them, so be respectful if they decline. You don’t want neutral or negative references anyway, so it’s best not to push if you don’t receive the response you were hoping for.

How to Prepare Your References

Securing your references isn’t the last step. Now it’s time to get your new reference up to speed. Preparing your references is crucial to ensuring they provide the best possible recommendation. Here’s how to set them up for success, to in turn help you succeed:

Share Your Resume and Job Description

Provide your references with a copy of your resume and the job description for the position you’re applying for. This will help them tailor their comments to align with the job requirements and highlight relevant skills and experiences.

Highlight Key Points

Inform your references about the key points you would like them to emphasize. Whether it’s your leadership skills, problem-solving abilities, or specific accomplishments, guiding them on what to highlight can make their reference more powerful.

Keep Them Updated

Keep your references informed about your job search progress. Let them know when you’ve submitted applications, when they might be contacted, and any feedback you receive. This keeps them engaged and prepared for potential calls or emails from hiring managers. The goal is to make it easy for them so that they have everything they need to provide a glowing reference.

When to Share Your References

We touched on reference etiquette from the start, because it truly is an important piece of the puzzle. As we’ve noted, your references are doing you a professional favor or courtesy. Don’t repay that kindness by unnecessarily painting the town with your reference’s contact information.

Is it the end of the world if you’ve done so in the past? No, but to respectful your network’s privacy going forward, omit it from your resume, especially when sharing multiple copies at networking events. This strategy gives you more control and helps to ensure you can prep your references ahead of time. If an employer has to ask you for your list of references, you know to give your reference a heads-up to ensure they’re ready for the call. Whereas a resume floating around with a list of references could be used at any point without warning.

And while you’ve likely seen some resumes note, “References available upon request,” it’s not necessary to take up precious space on your resume with this statement. It’s implied. The employer will ask for your references whether it’s stated on your resume or not.

The key is waiting till you’ve been asked so that you don’t unnecessarily use your references’ time. After the initial phone screen, you may not even be interested in the position. So try to hold off on providing references till asked by the employer. Typically, this happens after an initial interview or once you’ve moved to the later stages of the hiring process.

Always Say Thank You

Maintaining good relationships with your references is crucial for your ongoing career development and job search prospects. Here’s why and how to say thank you:

Express Gratitude

After a reference has been provided, reach out to thank your reference personally. A phone call or email can go a long way in showing your appreciation.

Keep Them Updated

Let your references know the outcome of your job search. Whether you got the job or not, keeping them informed shows respect and keeps the relationship warm for future opportunities.

Offer to Reciprocate

If appropriate, offer to return the favor. Networking goes both ways, so let them know you are available to provide a reference for them in the future. This creates a mutual support network that can be valuable for both parties.

The Path Ahead

As you navigate your cleared job search, remember to be strategic, respectful, and appreciative of those who help you along the way. By picking the right references, asking them appropriately, preparing them thoroughly, sharing their information judiciously, and always expressing gratitude, you’ll ensure that your references enhance your cleared job search rather than hinder it.